Coders at work is blowing my mind. Damn. Shit. It’s so relevant. And it’s like…. what’s relevant in the 80s is still relevant now. Computer Science is less than 100 years old… and most of the pioneers and greats today are still alive. It’s like… living in the same generation as da vinci or something. Or newton. Shiet.

Only one chapter in so far. I have three drafts.. and I think that by not writing and publishing my writing habit regressed. So just gonna publish this in order to start day 1.

sigh. so i negative spiraled a bit on making weekly posts, meditating and some of my other habits. In the case of writing daily posts… I think I made the excuse of wanting higher quality to make up for lower quality… but I don’t think I’m quite at the point where I should be focusing on quality quite yet. It’s like when you first start exercising. Any form of exercise is better than not exercising. There’s no point in focusing on which lifts to optimize for because just showing up and exercising is the most important. So now I’ll be aiming to hit my previous 115 day streak and then surpassing it.

So much of my behaviour is automatic and subconscious… it kinda blows my mind. I think it’s because we evolved from lizards and mammals. From the psychology/brain talks that I’ve listened from… there’s basically three brains insde of you. The reptilian brain, the mammal brain and the human brain. The animal brain always wants to save on computation and thinking… so tasks eventually get automated into your subconscious. I think that’s part of the reason why it’s harder to change when you’re older. You’re so use to one way of things… it’s in your subsconscious and automatic.

So I’ve been in a negative spiral. I uh… recently spent $200 on magic cards. To build two decks with lots of spare cards leftover. Sigh. I kinda got really carried away… also since I sold my two monitors I figured I could treat myself. It doesn’t really matter… it’s just that now I have more stuff. And at this point I don’t want more stuff.

The universe has aligned and I’ll be going to EDC this year. It’s always been on my mind and I’ve been wanting to go. My coworker has a ticket to sell me. My friends have extra space in their hotel + car. The two connections just available to me… I’d be crazy to not go. It’s like… just by subconsciously thinking about it… the opportunity to go just presented itself. I dunno. Maybe it’s like think and grow rich. I thought about EDC so much that I get to go without much real planning.

I overslept and skipped bay to breakers. It use to be a yearly event that I really looked forward to in SF. Felt like deja vu. Except this time I just let myself sleep and skip it versus forcing myself to go even though I was really tired and out of it. I’m still a bit torn on forcing self to do something or just letting it go. I think depending on the situation one is better… but honestly either one is fine. To go back on the consistency… the 1% matters. It compounds daily into a really big number. So focus on getting 1% better each day.

I was stage manager for the dance show at city college sf again. I’m all use to being a stage manager now. My only job with the word manager in it. If I do work though… I’m sure that I’ll reach manager/director/vp level. I guess this is enough for a first blog back after a hiatus. Life is good as always. If you focus on the positives… life is always good. :)

I’m thankful that my aunt and uncle visited me in San Francisco. Even though the purpose of their visit was to visit me specifically… I got to treat them to food and explore fisherman’s wharf with them. I’m thankful that my two monitors will live on in a friend’s place instead of someone random. I think of my electronics as my kids… lol. Reminds me of silicon valley when my girlfriend = my macbook. My dual monitors found a good home and for that I’m thankful. Also selling it was easier than imagined because of that.

I’m thankful for craigslist. It makes selling things easier. I still need to sell a ton of crap. But so far I’ve already sold my guitar which was just collecting dust. After much thought I decided on just selling my desktop for ~$500 as opposed to shipping it back to Canada. I’m thankful for the yoga recording that I have from my favorite instructors. I get to do Saturday yoga whenever I wake up… which is 1pm.

After getting rid of my dual monitors… I cleaned my desk and moved my 3rd monitor to my desk as the primary monitor. My place looks so minimalist and clean. It’s pretty sweet.

I also finished planning my travels this weekend. I’m thankful that planning trips around cities and buying tickets can be all done online from the comfort of your home. Within 20 minutes. My flights to LA/NYC/Toronto in total cost ~$400. I get to fly to 3 cities and across the entire united states. I’m thankful that I haven’t gotten that much weaker. It’s now my 2nd week back in the gym since extended vacation. I’m almost back at 80%.

You know what’s crazy? Looking at other people… you can see what your future will kinda look like. After all… you are the average of your 5 closest friends or whatever. I think that’s true to a certain extent… but then I have no friends so I wouldn’t know. Aside from seeing your own future… I’m starting to see myself from the eyes of younger me. Shit. I’m an uncle now… and I have a niece. I use to meet all these cool young people who would travel and work. Now that’s me. I travel… and do stuff. O.O. Shit. I’m old. I randomly live in a city where relatives will fly by… and I’ll come out and treat them to food. It’s like… yeah. Back in the day we flew to random city and your relative treated us to food. Shit. I’m that relative. O.O

Anyways. I’m thankful that my backlog of good games is so high. I don’t think I’ll ever get the time to finish it all. I started playing ni no kuni again. It looks so beautiful. I think I’ll finally have the time to finish it this may/june. Pretty excited. Life is good.

I’m already sold on meditation. But here’s another good ted talk that shows the benefits of meditation.

For me personally… I think of meditation as flossing / working out / stretching. You don’t really see the benefits right away. You need to persist and just keep meditating. When I don’t meditate for a long time… I’m actually more irritable, emotional and anxious. The thing is… I still always choose to forgo meditation because I haven’t built a rock solid habit yet. I think I meditate about once or twice a week when I think a daily practice would be much more benfiticial. It’s something that I’m still working on.

It just blows my mind that… meditation works. Like… meditation is no doubt effective.. but like. It’s crazy how it was discovered or something. I’m just gonna sit and do nothing… and just let thoughts pass through me. And my life will be better.

So… I think I might be crazy or have ocd / paranoia. Actually I’m not crazy… because I read in a book or saw a ted talk that said once a psychologist labels you as crazy… you can’t prove yourself to be sane since you’ll be labelled as crazy. I guess… anyone can be crazy depending on how you look at it but I digress.

Anyways… I woke up to a knock on my door. It’s the repairman to check my bathroom because it’s apparently leaking water. I let him in and he does his thing. He tells me he’ll come back later and he has the keys to my place. I’m like sure. Cool cool. On my way out… he’s outside my door and he’s like cool. Just leave it unlocked and I’ll fix your shit. Don’t worry I’ll lock your door since I have your keys.

So I just left with the door open. And uh… for most of the morning I was thinking of how he’d rob me. And I’d lose like… $5000 worth of goods in my place. I have a lot of electronics. But honestly… if I did lose everything and I had to spend 5k to buy all my shit… it wouldn’t really affect me that much. I think the most valueable thing that I have is actually my data. As in the data on my laptop and desktop. But even that… most of it is in the cloud and recoverable.

I think this goes back to minimalism. The more stuff you own… the more attached and fearful you are of losing it? So own less shit. Or… I’m just crazy. Like statistically speaking… the chances of me getting specifically robbed are hella low. It would be better for me to not think about it. I blame the media… and my family for always telling me about robbers and dangers which makes me primed and think irrationally and have fear.

Yup. So that’s why I’m crazy. I keep thinking random people will rob me. Fearing the robbery even though it’s so statistically unlikely and if it happened it wouldn’t even be that big of a deal.

I just tried adding my coworker / manager.

How do you know Andrew? Bullet points. Blargh. So much work to add a connection which makes linkedin a better network.

Select colleague. Dropdown pops up. Ffs. Fuck. What the fuck.

Okay. Other. Enter his email..?! DAFAQ.

Fuck that shit. Friend.

Ok. I can add him now.

Dear linkedin. Your UI sucks. Your email spam for find your network sucks. I hate your anti patterns. I think I should stop using linkedin.

Trying is progress even when you have no progress to show for it. So… since last Friday I’ve been trying to figure out dynamodb and how to get it to work in go using the official aws-go-sdk. I basically spent an entire day reading documentation and trying things that would error. On monday it was like… what did you do? I was like… trying to figure out how to insert something into dynamodb.

I think the same thing happens when I’m debugging. I’ll trace through all the code. Think about the problem and try to reproduce it etc. But then from the outside it looks like I’m doing nothing. And then suddenly I figure out the problem and the fix is one line. And it’s like… you spent days writing one line of code. I think it’s fine from a work perspective because most likely your manager is technical and would understand that. But for me… I still kinda feel like I don’t make progress or like… the day isn’t as satisfying when all I did was read documentation / trace code / think about the problem.

It’s like… all I wanna do is build. It also applies to progress that you don’t see. Like doing stretches pre/post workout. Stretches always feel kinda pointless to me… but then it’s like when you keep doing stretches without seeing progress… one day you’ll realize that your flexibility is way better than you remember.

It’s kinda like process over results. I just need to personally let it go. It’s like… I built so much cool shit once I figured out dynamodb… but then figuring out dynamodb was necessary. And even though I had nothing to show for the day… I guess I got more knowledgable.

tl;dr - just keep working and don’t worry about progress from the outside. effort = progress

damn. selling stuff is still so time consuming. like… i wanna sell my stuff but it’s hard to find buyers on craigslist.

i got back from the gym just now and finished ordering papa johns. i think i’m gonna stop focusing on my streak and instead try and write more higher quality material. consistent quantity is better but i think i default to lazy crap.

this weekend was meant to be a recovery / rest weekend and yet i managed to get so much done so that’s good. i tried installing kubuntu 16.04 on my laptop and it didn’t work at all. but in the process of cleaning out my laptop… i realized that i haven’t really booted into it for the past maybe 4 months. i haven’t ran the days script until yesterday. i wish i saved the output.

i wrote the script in 2015. to count the days since jan 1st 2015. and the percentage of the year that’s passed. and when i ran it yesterday… it was over 100%. i’m pretty sure i did a 2015 retrospective though.. but damn.

i also started looking into new computer parts since i’ll be building on soon. cpu improvements has really slowed. my 3570k is like better than 6600k in some cases. that’s crazy. i can’t wait for amd zen to kick some intel butt.

starving… and waiting for pizza. i’ll maybe write another post once i’m done eating.

TGIF. Just gonna recap my last few events.

Just got home after getting $5 mango sago from i-tea. I’m hella spoiled. I got to smoke marijuana with my old coworkers and my current coworkers. Life is good.

Shit… the new friday free drinks and food place is. 7 minutes walking from my home. i can go home. have dinner. relax. and then walk over to the bar and smoke with my friends. whoa man. i am. so spoiled.

i’m thankful for sparc. the best pre-rolls. they even give it to you in a clear tube… so goood.

at i-tea… i realize that i still have a bit of social anxiety. it’s not at the level where it really affects me. but i realized that after smoking i have no anxiety at all. damn. i guess it is an anxiety medication. that’s why i got prescribed it after all. it helps me relax and concentrate.

shit. i can’t wait til i’m totally anxiety free via meditation.

if you read this it means that i really really really really really like you. (8). Music yo. :)

Everyday I’m shuffling. Omg. I learned this new spin move. It’s pretty neat. And I’ve been doing crazy intense shit with dynamodb at work. Life is good. I think I’m starting to appreciate and be more thankful about things in general. Hunter X Hunter resuming just blew my mind. And last weeks chapter… when we went to back Heaven’s Arena with Hisoka and Chrollo. Deng. So good.

I think it’s gonna be either a Hisoka victory or a draw. I’m gonna say it’s gonna be a Hisoka victory. The reason being that Hisoka hasn’t ever fought to his full strength. I think he has a tendency to fight with his abilities slightly higher than his opponent…. like how cell limited his powers vs goku. That way it’s more exciting to him and he lives on the edge. Also, I think that danchou’s role in the series is pretty much over. I mean… he was the villain and stuff. But going forward I don’t see him interacting with Gon or even Kurapica. So from a plot perspective… Danchou is worth less than Hisoka.

Personally I think it’s really hard to choose since both characters are so amazing. I can see how feats wise that Chrollo fighting on par with 2 zoldycks was impressive. I think both sides weren’t really trying so that doesn’t really count. Mind and heart both say Hisoka. Gg Chrollo.

Oh man. I woke up so dead sore. I had chest pains. Lucky for me I quickly realized that it was from doing too much bench press. In the past…. when I had chest pains… I was always worried I was gonna die or not be able to breathe. But now I realize that it’s just muscle soreness.

I bought dominican republic chocolate for my friend who visiting from la. I only have two more boxes left. o.o. We watched btoom… the first 3 episodes. It was okay. On the walk back I decided to get boba. I got honey lemon green tea. At 10:30pm… on my walk home from anime night with friends. Life is pretty good.

We were talking about hikkimori and neets and stuff. And when I do my one year in japan… I’ll officially be a neet. That’s freaking awesome. Except I’ll be a neet that can’t communicate with other neets or speak japanese. Hue hue.

I can’t wait to be a neet. It’ll be a dream come true. Lol. Neet in Japan. I just google neetinjapan. It’s available. Don’t register it… I’ll register it when I actually move to japan and become a neet. Damn.

Mostly just planning lunches and stuff. Selling my shit is hard. I think I might need to sell on ebay instead of craigslist. With ebay you can sell to all of america… with craigslist… you can sell to 800k / 300M+…. which is less than .1% of america. Damn.

There’s these magic cards that I really wanna buy that’ll cost me ~$40. I told myself I’ll only buy it after I sell my guitar + rocksmith + wire for $50… so hopefully I sell it soon. I think my magic motivation will be what motivates me to post it on ebay and then use shyp to ship it. It’ll probably end up only netting me $30… but I’ll have sold off my junk. Minimialism in japan. I’m not gonna be buying any clothes or new toys. Besides a TV, PS4, desktop pc, speakers, and kotatsu. And maybe some kitchen stuff. Whoa… time travel.

I’m thankful for my now 20 minute commute. Actually… it’s more like 15 minutes given normal traffic lights. Door to door.. leaving my house and arrive at my desk at work is 15 minutes. That’s so crazy. And.. to think that I actually use to have it even better. I had a 10 minute commute when I first moved here…. but that was with my old company which wasn’t as good. I’m thankful that my new office is so great. On the walk back from the office I stopped by target today to buy my own groceries. Now I can live the japan way and just buy groceries everyday after work as needed.

I went to the gym today. It’s the first day after… close to 3 weeks. Since I just went pure vacation mode in dominican republic… followed by my phoenix weekend getaway. I definitely got weaker… but I didn’t get too much weaker so that’s good. I did another load of laundry today. Sometimes… you really don’t know what you got until it’s gone. And uh… I use to think that doing laundry by taking it down 3 flights of stairs was hard. Until I had to take it down 3 flights of stairs and 3 blocks. But now… it’s back to easy mode. And for that it feels really easy. And I’m thankful.

I need to start selling my shit. I got the guitar… and rocksmith that I spent like $150 on but ended up probably only practicing for 10 hours. I guess… it wasn’t a bad investment. I wonder if I can even get $50 for it. I just bought 64 gigs of ddr4 ram today. It was on slickdeals… and I paid $200 for it. That’s kinda crazy. $200 for 64 gigs of ram. Damn. I’m living in the future… and I’m old. I guess I’m thankful that technology keeps getting better and cheaper.

I’m still recovering from the long / short 3 weeks of vacation that I was on. It’s like… time went by so fast… but it also went by so slow. Vacation was short yet long. I enjoyed and remember most of it. Gotta use the heal. I know about the heal.. but I don’t use it. Heal is some good shit yo.

So… I don’t have any vacation withdrawel. In fact… it feels great coming back home. And going back to work. I actually really enjoy doing my work. Planning and programming and both fun. And I work with really smart people.

I just got back from shuffle. I think… I’ve been looking forward to thursdays more and more because it’s shuffle day. So that’s good. I’m actually really spoiled by SF life. Yesterday I had pho for lunch. It was walking distance from my home. And then for dinner I got food delivered. Oh. I also got grocieres delivered. And my laundry place reopened. Now I don’t need to walk 3 blocks to do laundry… my hardest task of the week is back to easy mode. Man. I’m so spoiled. The hardest thing in my life was to walk 3 blocks to do my weekly laundry.

I think… I’m already starting to miss SF. It’s like.. thinking about the possibility of leaving makes me realize how much I like it here. SF is my home. I don’t have a home anywhere else… but I guess home is whatever I make it. I also got groceries delivered yesterday. Yeah. I’m gonna miss the prime boba location and coffee location. And everything being walking distance… amongst other things. Of course… my shuffle friends as well. One trip is done… and I’ll be flying over to Phoenix this weekend for a dance competition. Crazy. The weekend after dominican is phoenix. So much flying. I actually… wanna just stay in one place. Flying is really convenient… and fast. Well.. convenient in a sense of how else will you travel thousands of miles in a few hours. But it sucks. I fucking hate airport security and lines. I can’t wait for technology to disrupt the airline security system. It’s retarded and fucked up. One of my only few instances where I have a really strong opinion.

Anyways. My mind has been full of random thoughts since the vacation. And I haven’t really had time to just calm down and rest. I’m really looking forward to next weekend where I can finally catch up and just stay home. Except I might actually be on call. Hopefully not… but maybe.

I just got back from Dominican Republic. It was the shit. There’s so much to talk about. First. Let me just say happy 4/20 and I just had some chocolate. Shiet son. Shiet. I had part one of the chocolate… and delayed part two… and now part two is hitting me real good. Shiet yo. I’m pretty wasted.

I realize now that my posture is bad. Sitting in front of the computer. Whoa. My posture is so bad. Ok. I slightly made it better. But anyways. What was I gonna write. I’m back from vacation and I realize how great my life in SF is. I took a lyft from SFO to home. It was $25. And the guy picked me up from departures which was right at the exit of the gate. It was late so there was also no traffic. I got home in like 30 minutes.

I wish that there were lyft/uber in dominican republic. I got hella scammed on my first day. I paid $40 to get a drive from the airport to the mall. And $20 to get from the mall to my place. So $60. And then later I rented a car and the $60 trip only took me 25 minutes. Sigh. People just rip you off. I think that if you don’t speak spanish and travel … they just see you as money and try to scam you. So I got hella scammed. but no biggie.

I did laundry today. The laundry by my place finally opened. It’s now 5 minute laundry run instead of 20. Man. I save an hour per laundry run. Life is pretty good. And the new office move is happening next week. I get to experience the joys of walking to work. Damn son. Damn.

Wow. So it’s 12 and I just wanna publis this. So… go. go.

Wow. I’ll be flying to Dominican Republic in… 48 hours. It’s… kinda crazy that… uh. The vacation that I’ve so looked forward to is here. I’m excited. But at the same time… it’s kinda surreal. March just flew by. Damn.

My rigged draft magic deck is getting quite good.

I’m so sleepy… but I don’t wanna sleep. That’s kinda messed up. I wrote down a list of shit that I still need to pack and do before vacation. Calling the credit card company that I’m travelling. That’s new. And really annoying. Even though it only takes 5 minutes. I wish that uh… they were smart enough to realize that I bought tickets and am travelling. But whatever. I should instead be grateful that I can travel with plastic instead of worrying about cash.

I’ve been playing legend of dragoon recently. It’s uh.. the nostalgia factor is quite entertaining. I’m surprised by how much that I liked it.. or still like it. Despite the fact that there’s some really tedious things to do.

Yeah. Just so much to do. I’m looking forward to just a day of doing nothing on the beach. An entire day. And then coming back hella brown.