A raw paste from my personal diary.

so i was walking to the grocery store and i was thinking about my ffxv grind and how i’m looking forward to spending like 10 hours getting all the gear, farming ap, and reaching level 99. even though i know it’s fucking pointless. s ure. it’s fun to be able to one shot everything… but the grind is just stupid. and yet i enjoy the ffxv grind. why can’t i enjoy the grind that is working on my own projects? well… i do. but not to the extent of enjoying the gri nd of ffxv. and i think… the reason is that video games and ffxv. effort / grind leads to direct results. i’m 100% confident that if i spend time, i’ll hit level 99 and get all the best gear. but in reality… there isn’t the guar antee. hard work. grind. all of that can end up being worthless. and so… without that guarantee… it makes it har d to stay motivated. so.. all the best people have faith in themselves. just belief that all the hard work will lead to success. but faith isn’t the only thing that’ll lead to success. it’s like. you can have faith and fail, but you won’t succeed without faith because without faith you won’t be able to endure the grind. so it’s like… back to th e uncertainty. i guess.. i gotta work on having more faith. lazy work and effort leads to results. i do believe that . and yet… it’s like… still not the same. the effort of real life grind vs the game grind. damn. i guess that’s why so many people are whales in video games.